Just Shoot Me
by ShredFreakinStarkey
Summary: This is a story of Leah, John Lennon's secret sister  he didnt really have a secret sister FYI , and her battle to keep her sanity and her love with Ringo together. Her life just might depend on it...


~Leah's POV~

"Do it! Please!" I could feel the cold air shuddering out of my lungs and freezing in the air around me.

"I can't! I'm not _going_ to!" He said, hands still firmly gripping the gun through the frost freezing over the cold black trigger.

"I _want_ it to be this way, it _has_ to be." I could see the pain searing through his eyes, the worry and terror shaking him through the snow whipping around and kissing his warm skin.

"Yer my sister! I'm not gonna-"

"Just do it! Please John! Please." I began to cry the tears stinging my frozen cherry red cheeks, memories of the last day I saw dad leaping through my nearly frozen body.

"N-no." He dropped the gun into the snow beneath us, saving me for now.

"If you don't, I will." I threatened knowing I wouldn't be able to live through seeing the fear in Ringo's eyes tomorrow.

"You wouldn't _dare_." But he knew I would, he knew it all along.

"Wouldn't I? You think you don't know me, you think its all just a game that I don't know whats going on but I know too well. Your gonna leave me and I'll never see you again. Ill never see Geo or Paul, even Ringo. Yer all gonna leave me and I'll die from loneliness." I could feel the tremors from my sobs becoming worse and actually worming my body slightly.

"We _are_ leaving you, alright? We're leaving you here because the world doesn't _need_ to torture you like it does us. It doesn't _need_ to tear you apart and take Rings with you-"

"Your doing it _AGAIN _John. I'm done arguing with you, alright? Fine I'll stay here but don't think that its going to be alright when you come back." I turned away, heading back for Stu's flat, the same boring place I'd hoped he would save me from.

"Maybe I wont _come_ back. Ever think of _that_?"

"Then _don't_! I didn't _ask_ you to come back! I didn't _ask_ you to take me here to begin with. I never _wanted_ you in my life, alright then?" I screamed, the tears burning my face and neck like liquid metal. I couldn't see his face through the snow's wall between us.

"Life isn't _about_ what you want Leah. Its about what you _need_. I never _wanted_ you either but I _needed_ you, your my _sister_ and I only want whats best for you-"

"You clearly don't! If you want whats best for me you want me to be happy and being with him makes me happy. Now your taking my happiness away. Just like mum."

"I am _nothing_ like her Leah! You _know_ it, you _know_ I love you and I need you, she didn't love us _or_ need us. She never did now hop off and stop trying all the crazy shit to make you _feel_ like life isn't worth it, alright? Because I love you and I'm _not_ leaving you behind. Paul loves you and Geo loves you and hell, Leah, Rich _clearly_ does because honestly he babbles on for hours about you. We _aren't_ leaving you behind." He grabbed my shoulders and pulled me into him, his body warmer than the snow and finally safe. Finally family and something other than foreign territory.

"I love you John." I sobbed into his leather covered chest.

"I love ye too Leah. Now lets get outta the snow."

I realize you, the readers, are wondering whats going on right now between John and me.

I'm Leah and John, yeah, he's my brother. Of course no one ever needed to know about the poor quiet Lennon, John's polar opposite. That was until I became too much like him and people _wanted_ to know me.

I didn't know John until really recently to be honest. I'm seventeen and he just turned twenty.

Life, Jesus that's a long story.

I lived with dad for most of my life until he shipped me back to mum and I learned that John was taken away. To be honest I'm not even sure if John really is my brother because right now all that matters is I'm madly in love with Ringo.

Every time I see him my heart leaps out of my mouth and I feel like I'm the happiest person alive. Sometimes I see it in him too but sometimes I feel like John might kill him, or me, if Ringo even looks at me. That's when I worry and when things like this happen.

We're staying with Stu in Hamburg right now, its December 12th 1960. 'Things like this', are my separation issues kicking in. Since I was sent to mum I've never trusted anyone, then she sent me to John and lucky me she died right after.

Obviously I have terrible luck with people because John couldn't afford to keep me and sent me out here with Stu. Talk about suffering.

Now John decides that he can take me back but I didn't _want_ him back, until he introduced me with the band. Now I have Ringo and he's the only reason I want to be with John.

That and I have nowhere else to go.

Separation issues have gotten worse since I met Ringo, believe it or not. I cant be with anyone for too long but I can't be alone in general. I hate it.

So when I'm alone, like today for instance, I get very... how shall I put it... suicidal? I guess that's all you need to know. And how this all started. Lets back track ten years, shall we?

"Leah, sweety. C'mon we're goin' for a trip." Daddy was whispering in my ear, his voice unusually monotonous and dull.

"Did I sleep too late?" I ask sitting up and looking into his dark brown eyes, worried almost, that he was leaving for work and I wouldn't see him again.

"No," He chuckled. I did too. "I'm taking you on an airplane today."

Being curious and questioning like most children, I jumped up and got ready not noticing it was going to be the first of many terrible choices.

We got to the little red grassed field and waited for half an hour or so while daddy sat with the paper and I sat with a blanket. The paper would occasionally shuffle and daddy would check his watch, swear under his breath, and continue to read. But I pretended not to notice and watched the sky for this mysterious thing called a plane.

_I wonder what it looks like. Maybe like a boat, a lorry, but in the sky. Daddy said they fly so maybe they're big huge birds- Oh look!_

"Daddy! Its a plane!" I screeched, jumping up and pulling the paper from his hands to point out the plane.

He jumped, took the paper back, and folded it under his arm. "It is indeed dear."

So the plane landed and the pilot got out, introducing himself as James, and loaded me along with a little pink duffel bag daddy had packed into the plane.

"Aren't you coming daddy?" I ask smiling down at him from feet above and playing with his hair.

He was solemn looking and bored almost. "No Leah. I'm staying here. Just wait for me luv. Just wait."

And so, nodding, I sat in my seat and put my hand to the window. He did the same on the other side.

"I love you daddy." I said through the thick glass as James jumped in and started the loud rattly plane.

He said nothing and took his hand away, patting the metal of the plane and looked to his feet.

"Daddy!" I yelled through the wall trying to et him to look up. "Dad! I love you!"

He wouldn't look up, instead he shuffled the other way and somehow I knew I wasn't coming back.

So I smiled and enjoyed the ride. It was going to be fun. What would stop it from being fun, anyways?

I woke up a couple hours later and sat next to James.

"Why didn't daddy come with me?" I ask, recalling the depressing look on his usually perky face.

James said nothing and continued to stare at the horizon.

"Go back to sleep. I'll wake you up when we get there." He promised.

So I got my blanket and fell asleep in the chair next to him, needing the simple presence of another living thing instead of the cold metal of the plane shell against my shoulder.

He didn't wake me up.

Someone else did.

She had long firetruck red hair and beautiful brown eyes with little twinges of green-

"Mummy!" I yelled throwing my arms around her and smiling.

"Leah." She laughed kissing me on the cheek and pulling me into her arms.

"I knew it was you, do you know how? Daddy has your photograph on the refrigerator and-" I looked around for dad but he was nowhere.

And I knew I should have fought to stay.


End file.
